Secret Diary of a Girl Who Should Be Working

loveforeversmilealways:

do you ever get so emotional and you just

If there was ever a way of traumatizing people with FOOD, I would like to congratulate my mother for doing that brilliantly. Like, she’s to blame for the most part, for my TERRIBLE relationship with food. I can’t take delight in eating of she makes it just another chore I have to worry about because it’s so specific. I literally don’t even have the freedom anymore to eat what I want because I have to eat what she puts out and what she puts out often just looks so bad and/or weird that after I spend literally hours trying to finish that I don’t even have appetite for anything else anymore.

So it’s easy enough to say well if you’re thin and you don’t like it why don’t you just eat more. Thanks, but I just can’t eat food that looks gross even if the combination is nutritionally healthy. Or if it tastes bad. Her excuse is, I’m not a child, she doesn’t have to make food visually appealing or tasty we’re old enough to know to eat it because it’s healthy. But I doubt anyone would truly even want to eat if it tasted offensive.

Is that too much to ask? If you’re not going to give me visually appealing, tasty, nutritious food, at least let me make my own!! That would seem reasonable to anyone, right? Not HER apparently. Because my food that I prepare isn’t “nutritionally dense enough”.

I guess your bowl of milk with margarine floating on top and white bread sogging in there, looking like vomit, is just so much more nutritious. Ugh. Have all the healthy components everyday doesn’t mean put them all together in a bowl and eat the mixture! I feel like a dog ugh.

Ugh. This is the kind of thing that makes me not want to eat. This is the kind of thing that makes the natural act of eating an absolute nightmare.

JUST LET ME MAKE MY OWN DAMN FOOD.